Fuel Your Life from Love

I was either deluded or optimistically ambitious, the day I attempted to read the novel, ‘Gone with the Wind’, while I still had 3 under 5 aged children at home’. What was I thinking? During their nap times, I found myself engrossed between the pages of this intriguing book. But it didn’t feel like that in the beginning. At first, I thought the book was boring. I felt I was wasting my time.

I complained that the author was taking too long to get to the ‘nitty gritty’. Then just as my patience was about to dive South, a whole world opened to me. I couldn’t put the book down. That’s how life rolls for most of us, right?'

When I married young and had my beautiful babies, I thought that was my happy ever after. How wrong I was. It was a struggle. Was this the book I wanted to pick up?

I wondered when my life would get through all the mundane stuff, like the everyday washing of nappies, the cooking and cleaning, only to rinse and repeat the next day, and the next and the next. Then there were the sleepless nights, sick kiddies, sick mama, screaming kiddies, screaming mama, money coming in, money going out like a hole in the bucket.

Have you ever tried making a chocolate cake, but the bottom half of the recipe has been ripped out? You think it goes like this, or maybe it needs more of that. That was me. The ‘Second Guess Mama’, gliding effortlessly like a duck on water, but kicking tirelessly beneath the surface.

When I came across Life Coaching, I realised I didn’t need the ripped-out part of the chocolate cake recipe. I hadn’t picked up the wrong book, it was the one meant for me. I stopped blaming all the authors in my life, and instead turned inward. I saw myself through a different lens, a more compassionate and confident one.

When our children are good, or succeed at things, we are so proud of them, and we continue to encourage them. When they’re sad we give them cuddles. Even when as teenagers, they sulk, throw tantrums, expect us to decipher their body language, we just love them. It’s challenging at times, but love isn’t a sprint. Think of love as an ember that has a beautiful warmth and glow, it’s constant and lasts long into the night. 

I teach a lot about fuelling yourself from love. Why Love? Because Love feels amazing, and it is such a gift to give yourself. 

1.     Love is always available - That same love is available from us, to us, and for us always. Because love is a choice. But for those of us who have difficulty accessing that same love, it’s often due to a collection of book titles in our heads we’ve been reading for years. Here were a few of mine; “I haven’t got what it takes”, “What will People Say”, and “They are so better than me”. It’s crazy that we settle for these titles as if they are true when we wouldn’t dare say those things to our children. Maybe you have your own collection of toxic book titles. I suggest you tear ‘em up’. There is no upside to any of them. Ever! Tear up the lies and lean into love.

2.     The 50/50 of life – There is no way we would know what happiness were if we didn’t experience sadness. I personally believe that life was designed for us to experience the good and the bad. At The Life Coach School, we call this the 50/50 of life. You can’t change the bad parts, the uncool parts. They are non-twinkable. They are just a part of your story, and as Joanna Gaines affirms to, “There is good in every piece of your story.” Find the pieces of your story that will serve you moving forward, and for the pieces where you felt broken, or felt life was unfair, allow grace to come in, and embrace all those parts of yourself with love, compassion, and acceptance.

3.     Awareness is the first step to change - when you examine and question some of those book titles, those long held beliefs, you get to re-write a new collection, with new titles. You will notice the exchange of energy, as you write new stories. Start today! What will your Top Best-Selling book titles be? ‘I was Born for This’? sounds like a good start. One of my Top Selling book titles are, ‘Ít’s not about me, it’s about them.’ Whenever I think this thought, I put others first and it makes me feel happy inside. Like that ember, I get to feel that warm glow. It’s such an awesome fuel to run on. Whatever you decide, have fun. You are the Author. With the stroke of a pen, you get to re-tell or create your new story and essentially, life. The pen is always in your hand. 

The day came when I was coming to the last chapter of my book. I was so overcome with emotion that it moved me to tears. As I closed the book, I saw my next-door neighbour curiously looking over at me. “Is she crying”? Maybe.

Yes, that’s what happens when Mama’s steal a moment to read, while their babies nap. Sometimes mama’s cry and that’s Ok. Crying is allowed here.

Until next time. Have a great week.

Gaylene Winter xox